Wednesday, April 22, 2009's ok people, i got this...

in celebration of the end of everyone's freshman year of college (or sophomore, junior, or senior year..whatever the case may be), i have decided to outline how best to FAIL a full year of college..
(for those ambitious people that want to PASS a full year of college, my advice would be to stop
Step 1: start out the year well, doing everything that you've been taught to in school as far as study habits, prioritizing, etc..
Step 2: mid-semester, contract an infectious disease like mononucleosis (or if you're going to be all technical, the Epstein-Barr virus, human herpesvirus 4, etc.) from a person you kissed six months before..
Step 3: sleep non-stop for basically three weeks out of the semester, going to class a grand total of 0 times..
Step 4: withdraw from 3 of your 5 classes, with a signed doctor's note of course..
Step 5:attempt to catch up on said three weeks of class work in less than a week, spending about 50 hours locked in your 9'x9' room..
Step 6:spend approximately the same amount of time studying for exams
Step 7: with the aid of 4 different alarm clocks placed strategically around the room so you are forced to get out of bed, wake up at 6 am for your first final, walk through a blizzard to get there, upon arrival looking quite similar to a lost hobo
Step 8: proceed to fail [insert course name] test..
Step 9:repeat previous step 4 times
Step 10: complete the semester more than a little bewildered about the whole college experience
Step 11: start the second semester the same as the first, only already having mononucleosis
Step 12: complete second semester with steps 3-9

so there you have it...amy's simple steps to NOT passing your first year of college..i hope this has


  1. hahaha! nice work amy. i'll be sure to...not follow this. thanks for the advice!

  2. haha this was great. I'm pretty sure I followed these steps...except for the mono part...yay for bad grades!

  3. jamie, anytime girl..i figured enough people had made lists on how to pass college..i'm just helping out ;)

  4. - i successfully failed my 2nd semester of college using similar steps. mono found me a little late though. i was officially diagnosed with that on tuesday- BUMMER.

  5. i feel your sympathies..definitely ibuprofen and a heating pad became my best friends..