cutest little kid EVER :)

oh reffing..

so i ref soccer..and what continues to baffle me, game after game, is how out of control some parents get..i mean, if their kid is getting decked on the field, i can understand some hysterics..but people, really..soccer is a CONTACT sport..aka there's going to be some pushing and shoving..and guess what? it's legal..that's right, i'm not going to blow the whistle every single time someone gets touched..if you don't want your kid getting shoved a little, but him/her in ballet..that is definitely not a contact sport..i think this insane overprotection stems from the delusion that the child is going to become the next Mia Hamm or Christiano Ronaldo..for parents that believe these delusions, let me clue you in: if your kid is off picking daisies, is afraid of the ball, or just can't kick the dang thing when it has come to a complete stop, there's no way screaming at me is going to get them to the Olympics in 2020...i promise i'm a competent ref..sure i may miss a few calls here and there, but i think my credentials speak for themselves..i have been certified for 8 years..i take an 8 hour recertification class every year..AND on top of that, i've played the game for 14 years..so pretty sure when you're arguing with me about whether or not a kid is allowed to chest the ball, you're definitely going to be wrong..

also, hearing parents, coaches, and occasionally players threaten me does not scare me into calling the game for them..if nothing else, it provides free entertainment for the duration of the game..the most amusing of said threats is, "i'm going to report you!"..go right ahead..odds are definitely in my favor..i laugh at coaches that threaten this for a few reasons: first, reporting me after the game has played isn't going to change the score, and the game will not be replayed...second, who is the reffing coordinator going to listen to? a coach that is about to spontaneously combust because his team wasn't good enough to win, or the referee who is getting paid to call the game fairly? it doesn't take a rocket scientist to decide that one, folks...finally, the threats of being beaten up in the parking lot..i believe the most amusing threat of such content came one game from a woman who appeared to be around 80 years old..i wondered if her walker would even be fast enough to catch me..

anyway, reffing soccer has made me appreciate officials of all sorts: basketball, football, soccer, baseball..i occasionally think they are idiots, but i still remember how it feels to be screamed at..

..it's ok people, i got this...

in celebration of the end of everyone's freshman year of college (or sophomore, junior, or senior year..whatever the case may be), i have decided to outline how best to FAIL a full year of college..
(for those ambitious people that want to PASS a full year of college, my advice would be to stop reading..now..)
Step 1: start out the year well, doing everything that you've been taught to in school as far as study habits, prioritizing, etc..
Step 2: mid-semester, contract an infectious disease like mononucleosis (or if you're going to be all technical, the Epstein-Barr virus, human herpesvirus 4, etc.) from a person you kissed six months before..
Step 3: sleep non-stop for basically three weeks out of the semester, going to class a grand total of 0 times..
Step 4: withdraw from 3 of your 5 classes, with a signed doctor's note of course..
Step 5:attempt to catch up on said three weeks of class work in less than a week, spending about 50 hours locked in your 9'x9' room..
Step 6:spend approximately the same amount of time studying for exams
Step 7: with the aid of 4 different alarm clocks placed strategically around the room so you are forced to get out of bed, wake up at 6 am for your first final, walk through a blizzard to get there, upon arrival looking quite similar to a lost hobo
Step 8: proceed to fail [insert course name] test..
Step 9:repeat previous step 4 times
Step 10: complete the semester more than a little bewildered about the whole college experience
Step 11: start the second semester the same as the first, only already having mononucleosis
Step 12: complete second semester with steps 3-9

so there you have it...amy's simple steps to NOT passing your first year of college..i hope this has been..er..educational..

sneezing panda..

..if you don't laugh at this, you have NO sense of humor..

..i realize that most of my observations are made walking across campus, but what can you expect when i go to a school as people-watching friendly as BYU? anyway, as i was walking across campus today to turn in a paper, i was surprised as i realized how much i notice and appreciate guys opening doors for the people behind them..i do not consider myself an extremely high maintenance girl..definitely not the kind that stands there and waits until a guy opens the door for them...but any guy, regardless of if we're dating or not, gets bonus points when opening doors...even if it's just a stranger holding onto the door just for that extra second so the person behind them can get through without being hit in the face by said door..if he stops and lets the person behind him go in first while he's opening the door? double bonus points..again men, let me clarify so as not to seem bratty: door-opening is not a requirement, but who doesn't like extra bonus points every now and then? especially when they're so easy to obtain..

...conversations of the night..

there were a few interesting/amusing topics bouncing around tonight...i decided the only decent thing to do would be to share these anecdotes with others..
Conversation #1:
i was once again reminded that i could be a performer in a freak show at a circus..no, i can't contort my body in weird ways or make my eyes bulge out...the characteristic that qualifies me for this? i have finger feet...or toe thumbs...i've been harassed for this feature my entire life...the tragic part is i can do absolutely nothing about it..so until someone invents thumb implants, i will have to suffer the embarrassment of having midget-sized fingers...
Conversation #2:
This is a theoretical situation prompted by a somewhat actual scenario..my best friend plays soccer for weber state university...they played a tournament at BYU this weekend, and they found a thong near the field...and here comes the theoretical situation..what would happen if said article of clothing were to be traced to..GASP..a BYU student? Here's what i think would happen: the referee would stop the game for 'honor code violation' (i sincerely believe that this infraction is about to be incorporated into the rules for athletics at BYU); honor code commitee would be called on to investigate the breach, seal off the perimeter and examine the situation; offending girl would be thrown out for indecent exposure via underclothing; media leak across campus of the incident involving contraband panties on campus; chaos ensues...
..ok maybe that's taking it a bit far..but you get the point..
Conversation #3:
in reference to a previous blog..about blogging, we (my very stubborn friend and i) have come to the conclusion that the word 'blog' or 'blogging' sounds like a bodily function..i believe it sounds like the equivalent of laughing so hard that some kind of liquid comes out ones' nose..feel free to dispute that as you will..
Conversation #4: (this is more of a rhetorical conversation..which to some may seem like i'm talking to myself...not so..)
lying...this individual i was talking with tonight seems to enjoy lying to me...these lies aren't bad lies, they are more the kind that are told to make someone feel better...the perfect example? your friend asks you, "does this make me look fat?" or "does this look good on me?" the way i see it, either way you answer you're in trouble..if you say "yes, you look like a hippopotamus" or "no, it looks revolting", you're going to end up injured..but in the view of ethical behavior, society would suggest that lying and saying, "no, that horizontally-striped dress is very slimming" or "yes, it's gorgeous" is also a major faux-pas...i believe that this friend, however, against his better judgement, has decided to lie to me, for the sake of being nice...i just can't decide if i'd rather be told the truth, or just lulled into a state of false-confidence by the falsehoods...

goings on at byu...

this post is prompted, oddly enough, by observations made while running...i know, it'll surprise everyone that I, in fact, go running, but it happened...now while you recover from the shock of that, i will explain what i saw...this is in no way a criticism, but is simply what i deem somewhat atypical behavior..as i was running through campus, i noted that as the weather gets warmer, the activities participated in by some of the students seem to get..more, uh..unique..for example, probably the most popular activity I witnessed is couples who appear to be engaged getting their engagement pictures done by the waterfall, by the school sign entering campus...and for one couple, on the football practice field..the latter couple gave me a weird look as I ran by, as if I was the psycho..pardon me for exercising! Other activities that I saw while on my observatory run include: ultimate frisbee (which is by far the most popular game on campus, and which I personally detest unless played with my brothers), tight-rope walking (?), juggling, fencing, medieval martial arts (from which i gather the object to be chasing each other around with very large wooden swords), and four-square...another interesting phenomena that seems to occur as the weather gets warmer is many people on campus fall asleep in the middle of campus..on benches, under trees...to the outside observer it might appear that campus has been overrun by well-dressed hobos, but these are, in fact, students..

i know you're all wondering, have i ever participated in these activities? never. will i? probably not...but more power to the individuals that do..

one warm-weather activity, however, that i will NEVER participate in is what we like to call the face-eating contest...it's the couples that walk around campus basically fused together that periodically stop for make-out sessions...if there was a tally started for the number of couples that participate in this behavior, the numbers would be astronomically high..i just think that is something nobody needs to see..especially in such high doses..that is the one activity that i will criticize as being absurd and somewhat disturbing..really? get a room...