oh reffing..

so i ref soccer..and what continues to baffle me, game after game, is how out of control some parents get..i mean, if their kid is getting decked on the field, i can understand some hysterics..but people, really..soccer is a CONTACT sport..aka there's going to be some pushing and shoving..and guess what? it's legal..that's right, i'm not going to blow the whistle every single time someone gets touched..if you don't want your kid getting shoved a little, but him/her in ballet..that is definitely not a contact sport..i think this insane overprotection stems from the delusion that the child is going to become the next Mia Hamm or Christiano Ronaldo..for parents that believe these delusions, let me clue you in: if your kid is off picking daisies, is afraid of the ball, or just can't kick the dang thing when it has come to a complete stop, there's no way screaming at me is going to get them to the Olympics in 2020...i promise i'm a competent ref..sure i may miss a few calls here and there, but i think my credentials speak for themselves..i have been certified for 8 years..i take an 8 hour recertification class every year..AND on top of that, i've played the game for 14 years..so pretty sure when you're arguing with me about whether or not a kid is allowed to chest the ball, you're definitely going to be wrong..

also, hearing parents, coaches, and occasionally players threaten me does not scare me into calling the game for them..if nothing else, it provides free entertainment for the duration of the game..the most amusing of said threats is, "i'm going to report you!"..go right ahead..odds are definitely in my favor..i laugh at coaches that threaten this for a few reasons: first, reporting me after the game has played isn't going to change the score, and the game will not be replayed...second, who is the reffing coordinator going to listen to? a coach that is about to spontaneously combust because his team wasn't good enough to win, or the referee who is getting paid to call the game fairly? it doesn't take a rocket scientist to decide that one, folks...finally, the threats of being beaten up in the parking lot..i believe the most amusing threat of such content came one game from a woman who appeared to be around 80 years old..i wondered if her walker would even be fast enough to catch me..

anyway, reffing soccer has made me appreciate officials of all sorts: basketball, football, soccer, baseball..i occasionally think they are idiots, but i still remember how it feels to be screamed at..