Tuesday, December 8, 2009

12 things of winter that make me want to scream...

here is my own personal spin on the 12 days of christmas...only i'm changing it somewhat: i LOVE christmas, it's just winter i have a problem with...here are the main 12 reasons that i am totally a summer girl, regardless of how long i've live in utah...
#12: wet hair freezes...up-does freeze your ears..so even though you don't WANT to get out of your warm bed earlier, comfort and survival necessitate actually doing your hair..
#11: mass boredom..there are only so many activites that can be done indoors, and only a certain amount of time outdoor activities remain fun/safe..after watching a movie every night for 2 months, cabin fever WILL ensue..
#10: windshield wipers that don't work..driving with a pile of snow on top of your car is scary enough..it gets exponentially more scary when there's snow sliping down your windshield, and the wipers are out on holiday..
#9: ice..i trip enough without having to make the sidewalk a slip 'n slide..winter just increases the already high probability that i will end up on my butt somewhere on byu's campus more than once a day..
#8: wet floors (see #9)
#7: too many temperature extremes...outside, it's 4 degrees, and some places you go inside, it's 89 degrees..my body can't deal with that many bipolar temperature fluctuations..it gets confused...then i have to deal with putting on a coat, then taking it off 3 minutes later because i walked inside, then quickly pulling it back on 5 minutes later because i'm back outside..
#6:there is no sun..and if there is, it just blinds you because it reflects off of all the snow...and, it doesn't do anything for your skin...which leads me to #5..
#5: pale skin..winter only perpetuates pale skin(and a LOT of acne, which the summer sun seems to miraculously cure), which has been overcome somewhat with summer...winter just sets you back at square one for having any skin pigmentation ..
#4: shaving...it's so pointless to shave your legs in the winter...i mean, you shave, and almost instantaneously get goosebumps, so your just-finished shaving has become completely useless..and if you're lucky enough to make it through a shower without goosebumps, your luck runs out as soon as you open the front door..and then men complain that girls never bother to shave their legs in the winter..excuse me for being economical with my time!
#3: scraping my car windows..it messes with my personal routine..my schedule for getting to school on time is based on precision...through trial and error over the years, i have calculated the exact number of minutes it takes me to get ready and get to school on time so that i can sleep in as long as possible before i have to wake up and get ready...when winter hits, i forget that i have to add a good 5 minutes for scraping my windows, and it throws everything out of whack..
#2: snow somehow inspires people to park like morons. i can understand not being able to see the parking stalls, but that is no excuse to park completely horizontal to everybody else..
#1: wet pant legs..like i've said before, wet pant legs are the most irritating and frustrating thing about the winter season..it's not like you did anything to deserve wet pants: you didn't pee yourself or fall in a puddle, you simply did the unavoidable, which everyone who has walked outside can sympathize with...you have to have at least 2 pairs of pants to make it through the day, or else your legs are soggy and you are miserable the entire day.

1 comment:

  1. SERIOUSLY, okay here is the thing. Over the years, I have also created a routine for getting ready for school. This routine has never included scraping ice off of windows. That is a lie, one time in Vegas there was a freak temperature incident and my mom and I were out scraping the ice off of Buela with spatulas. But really, as a native Las Vegan, it takes me like 15 minutes to get the ice off because let's face it--I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW.